This cute strappy one-piece comes in lots of fun prints!
Since the first day I started shopping at Aerie, I fell in love. From pajamas to bralettes and leggings to swimwear, they have it all – and I loved it all. When I was presented the opportunity to partner with one of my dream brands, Aerie, and promote their Love the Swim You’re In campaign, I immediately said yes! Then I remembered that the holiday season hit me hard this past year. I battled feelings and thoughts that I’d never had to deal with in the past. My mind changed, my body changed and taking pictures in swimsuits was about the last thing that I wanted to do at this very moment.
Last Fall, I started to feel a little down, but was convinced that it was the result of feeling overwhelmed with work and that the feeling would pass, like it always does. Once I caught up on work, I thought I’d go back to being my normal positive-outlook self. But that’s not what happened. Instead of that dark spot in my mind making it’s way out… it lingered and then it grew.
You can mix and match this scoop neck top and high waisted bottom to switch things up!
By December, I was having full on break-downs multiple times a day. I couldn’t find the problem and point the finger at anything in my life. I couldn’t figure out why I felt so down and why I was battling such depressing thoughts all the time, but I knew something was definitely wrong. I slowly started cutting out different things from my life. Less social media, more time with my family, less time working, and more time with my Bible. It’s been working… but I’m still dealing with one lingering issue. My weight gain.
Last February, I hit the gym hard and did a complete revamp of my daily diet. I focused on eating whole foods and keeping a diary of all my meals. It was super exciting to be so focused on my physical self and health because it wasn’t something I normally did. It was difficult and sometimes just utterly exhausting but overall – I was excited to see my body change and to feel so much stronger in the process, both physically and mentally.
This lace-up suit has lots of coverage and fits great!
So, when that dark time hit me a few months back… I lost focus. I didn’t want to leave the house and all I wanted was the comfort of my old friends caffeine and sugar. I very quickly gained back all the weight that I’d lost… and then some. I feel physically weaker and more out of shape than I’ve been in years. Being an influencer means that while my body fluctuated, I had a large audience of people comment on it almost daily. It’s been challenging, to say the least.
Weight fluctuation and changes in my body are definitely something I’m used to experiencing. I’ve struggled with self acceptance as related to my weight for my entire life. But having an audience discuss and dissect my body and life while going through these emotional battles, is still relatively new to me.
Try out these cute cheeky bottoms with this top for a spin on this look
As much as I was looking forward to this partnership with Aerie, I wasn’t looking forward to posting photos of my body in a swimsuit for hundreds of thousands of eyes to see. Completely un-retouched photos at that. Then I thought about the mission behind Aerie’s Love The Swim You’re In campaign. I thought about my own audience and how many of them have looked to me as a source of inspiration to love and accept their own bodies over the years. I knew that I needed to do this for myself just as much as I needed to do it for the girl looking to my confidence in hopes that it’ll inspire her own confidence.
So here I am, in some of the cutest and most comfortable swimsuits that I’ve ever worn. I’m showing you that my body is an ever changing part of my life. My body will never be my own definition of perfection. My body will always be a part of me, but it will never define who I am. My body is my own constant work in progress but it’s most definitely a swim body, at every step of the way.
I hope these photos have inspired you to post your own because for every 100% unretouched swim photo shared with #AerieREAL @Aerie, Aerie will donate $1 (now up to $50,000!) to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA). #AeriePartner
I’ve partnered with Aerie and ShopStyle to bring you this sponsored blog post.
Cute swimsuits love that you’re doing blogs now Sarah
Really pretty
I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I have been a viewer of yours for such a long time. You and other body positivity influencers have really changed my outlook on my body and I have to thank you for that. I decided to comment, because I before I read one word, I looked at the first image and was thinking, you looks so good! Then I read what you wrote and was thought again, ‘nonono, she’s beautiful! Why is she saying these things!?’ I didn’t even know you had gained weight, I just saw a beautiful woman in beautiful swim suits. Keep being you Sarah, because you do inspire people – everyday! You. Are. Beautiful!
This was a beautiful piece. I connected to it on such a deep level, especially the part about flipping your lifestyle around and then losing faith and gaining it all back. Weight fluctuation hits me hard, everyday my weight wavers by at least 1kg – just naturally – and until now I assumed that fluctuating weight was unnatural. Thank you so much for this lovely piece. Most of my inspiration about body image comes from you and slowly this self acceptance is getting easier. You look gorgeous in all these suits! Thank you!
First of all I love you and really not matter what your posting I’m watching or reading. But most of all thank you so much with sharing something so real and personal with us. All women and even men feel some type of way about their bodies from time to time and just to read this today made me feel like it’s ok I’m not the only one who goes through this more often then I want to even admit to myself. So thank you for just being REAL!!
Sarah thank you for this blog post. I have experienced recently what you have so beautifully stated here. I also started reading the Bible more and it’s been amazing. I have always enjoyed watching your channel because of your candidness. Bless you and your family.
The swimsuits are cute as well!
You are so beautiful and inspiring! Thank you for your transparency in your struggle. I have been through the same thing mama! I’ll be praying for you!
Thank you so much for sharing this!! I am going through the same thing with the only difference being I’m not online where people feel the need to be rude and cruel for no reason. It’s hard when you know you need to make a change but have no motivation to do anything. You are not alone and your bravery for sharing is not something that is going unnoticed!!
I’m so proud of you! I just went through my biggest breakdown regarding my weight. It’s the highest it’s ever been and it’s got me freaked out. Thank you for sharing because there are so many of us out there in the same boat of self love and acceptance that our bodies are what we allow them to be. Keep up doing what you are doing and remember that you aren’t the only one! ❤️
OMG I’m happy you posted this on your blog. I’ve been feeling this way since after xmas. I know I’ve gained weight and I don’t feel my happy motivated self lately. It can be 3 lbs or 10 lbs…doesn’t matter. It can take away that positive feeling you have when you feel in control of your body. Now I can ONLY IMAGINE how it feels when so many people comment on your physical appearance on youtube or Instagram. You are a strong beautiful woman and I wish I had your confidence and bravery at your age. Just remember girl, this too shall pass. And all those who make negative comments that attempt to make you feel bad for gaining weight or any other changes you make in your life they are only trying to make you feel as bad about yourself as they feel about their ugly soul.
You look beautiful as always. I didn’t notice any weight gain, and the number on the scale doesn’t make you any better or worse than anyone else. I understand depression, and not feeling great. Maybe your body became used to the endorphins from working out, and needs a reset?
I am a faithful viewer, and now reader of yours. No creep here, just a fan. I find when I’m feeling down, is I concentrate hard on how I can make my relationships more fulfilling. How can I be a better friend? If I spend time thinking of someone else, I find the darkness eases up a bit.
*BTW: when I clicked on the link for ‘RSS’ I got just a page of code. I think the link is broken.
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Yeah, I think you might be right. Laying off the gym and then some other things that came about kind of created the perfect storm for me. And YES the link is broken. I haven’t blogged in a while and I have some housekeeping to do on here. But it’ll be fixed asap 😉
I love you Sarah! You look great.
I absolutely loved this post. I’m struggling with the deep depression and consequently weight gain and feeling like I let myself down. You’re inspiring girl.
I feel you on SOOOOOO many levels with this post. I’ve been a subscriber and have been watching your videos for a while now. I find so much peace in your videos, and I always wondered why. Was it because seeing someone so real made me feel ok with myself and my imperfections?? After reading this I figured it out. It’s because you’re a strong beautiful woman who struggles like the rest of us but you KEEP PUSHING FORWARD. You’re real in a world where the people we watch and look at daily are just not. I was doing really good with my own weight loss up until the holidays and have been feeling very similar. Dealing with emotions and letting them get the best of me not only mentally but in the form of chocolate and sugar. I hope you find peace with the emotions and stress you are dealing with because you deserve so many amazing blessings. You have helped women like me feel good about themselves and you know what…we will lose those extra pounds we were so happy to have lost. We will get back on top and just know that you have so many people out there admiring you not just for the weight loss or the clothing hauls, but because you are simply, beautifully you. Thank you Sarah for being a real one! ❤️
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Thank you! ❤️
❤️ My absolute pleasure
Sarah, if I could only share with you… you are such an inspiration 💙 thank you!
I think you are beautiful Sarah! I love your You Tube Channel, and I think you are such a light and inspiration!
I 100% can not tell you regained ANY weight at all. You look fabulous.
Sarah i love watching your youtubes videos so much. Im 17 years old and have had a rocky road with my body to. Im not over weight or anything but i dont feel like comfortable or happy with the way i look. I love this post and your areso very beautiful along with your kiddos. Much love Haley!😘😘😘😘💖💖💖💖
You look so beautiful in those swim suits! I appreciate how honest you are about your body changes. We all have something that bothers us about our bodies and you are so brave to share it with everyone. You really embody the word courageous! I’ve been following your journey for a couple years now. I can say you have been such an inspiration to me and I bet too others for body positivity. I know times get tough but keep smiling and sharing :).
Loooove the striped purple swimsuit, and you look gorgeous no matter your weight. Keep your chin up, you are worth more than lots of things. Kisses from Turkey.
Being kinder to myself is one of my goals for 2019. I totally get where you’re coming from and thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing with us 💛
Sarah,
I have been following you for a while now; you are amazing. Everyone goes through weight fluctuations and i know that it is harder when it is you going through it. But please always remember you are gorgeous and look amazing no matter what. You are a great inspiration to so many. Love ya!
Nikki
You look amazing in each swim suit. Sarah, I also struggle with my weight. 2 summers ago I dropped about 40 pounds. I was so happy with how I looked. Friends and family was telling me how great I looked. I was starving myself. Not eating for 3 or 4 days at a time. Over the past 2 years all my weight has came back. I’m a size 16-17. 5’6 And I’ve iccolated myself since. Haven’t seen my family or any friends. Weight has been a struggle of mine since I was 18. I’m 38. I understand how you feel. I won’t wear a bathing suit. I haven’t felt confident in years. I found your channel and slowly excepted I’m gonna be over weight. I’ve done all the diets. I’ve starved myself. Im to old for that shit now.There is so many of us woman who feel the same way. And it’s sad cause society does it.
This post is everything! ❤️❤️
I absolutely cannot understand why anyone would have anything negative to say about you. I have followed you for years and you’re just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside! You’re so inspiring and you’ve helped me to see how much I’m truly worth even though I’m not a size 2. That’s a beautiful thing! This world needs more of you ❤️
This post really touched my heart! Thank you for sharing your struggles (honestly you don’t have to). Thank you for thinking about others, about the ones that look to you for inspiration! You look beautiful in every one of the swimsuits! Our life and situations vary but not who we are, don’t allow other peoples insecurities affect you. Those trolls that are saying things about your body in a negative way are projecting their own insecurities, that’s their way to feel better about themselves. Keep your head high you are beautiful in every way! This is your life, live it they way you want to!
Jacqueline recently posted..Five Days of Outfits for Work/Plus Size Fashion
Your truly amazing! You’ve inspired so many of us to love ourselves for who we truly are and for that I Thank you!
Hello Sarah Rae,
Thank you for sharing. I have been feeling the cloud in my own life. It is a daily struggle, I applaud you for speaking up and confronting your depression. It is not easy but we can change our outlook. Keep pushing, keep praying, let the sun shine on your face (if it’s shining at all this weather), most of all and I know this is hard ignore trolls. They aren’t perfect either. I love watching your videos, you are beautiful and sexy at any size. Those who care about you and what you do aint going no where. 🤗😊😍🤩❤
Dear Sarah;
I saw this post and honestly, I could have written every word of this blog. I totally get you Girl. There are times when it is exhausting to constantly be positive and I am generally responsible for my own positive feelings. I can’t imagine feeling responsible for inspiring 1M + other people. Where is your down time? Where is time to just feel what you feel and do what ever you need to take care of you? This year I decide not to focus on weight. I have decide to love myself.as I am. That is not an excuse to all to throw w everything I”ve worked hard to accomplish in the toilet. It is my attempt to love myself as I am. To be kind to myself and do things to take care of myself. My thinking is that people have a tendency to take care of things the love. They treat the things they love better. When things are treated better the continue to last longer and look better. So my goal for 2019, is to feel good and love myself no matter what I weight, stop trying to fit into clothes and wear clothes that fit me, treat myself well. Take care of myself and most importantly be kind to myself. I follow choosingchelsea on instagram. You should give her page a peep. We all need inspiration. And, we need for you to find your 💪🔥 again Girl so that you feel like you can inspire us.
The other thing I wanted to mention is that I suffer from SAD, seasonal affects disorder, or, seasonal affects depression. The timing of what you are describing goes along with the time change. What you are feeling can be depression based on the season change. You should look into it.
We love you and support you. I think you are beautiful, strong, dynamic, inspiring, and fire!
Sarah, you are such a marvel! I have watched all your videos more than once and your attitude and honesty keep me engaged. At your age, you have accomplished so very much. I wish you all the best! I know you live to read and a book that has helped me so much is “The Renewing if the Mind Project” by Barb Raveling. Learning to renew my mind has changed my life! Good luck and you are a beautiful person in all ways:)
Rae –
You are an influencer who pushes herself into the world that has a fixed perfect body ideal and you have help, I am assuming, many curvy/chubby/bubbly girls like me say, “hello! I’m here too world and can rock that outfit as well!”
Who cares about those that have commented on the influx of weight… you are a human and we are humans so going through bodily changes is always going to happen.
I just want to say, since I started watching you I am willing to risk and wear clothes I thought my body type couldn’t because, I thought, if you look that bomb and you don’t care about the minor flaw (which rarely there was such as a camel toe issue which every girl has experienced) then I should rock it too.
Thank you for being my inspiration. Sorry if this is not grammatically correct or clear, but the main point is I love you like many other so who follow your example. Think about it, many of us have never met you in person and yet her we are feeling every emotion you have and wanting to support you – only a strong, beautiful heart can do that.
You are so inspiring. I know those feelings all to well. Struggling with similar body and craving issues as well as anxiety and depression. Feeling like no-one understands. You are in the spotlight and no matter what people judge and are rude. Please try to be strong. I know I’m behind you 100%! I’ve been watching all your yt vids and now found you on this blog and ig as well. Thank you for all your hard work and what you allow us to be a part of.
Sarah, you look beautiful, you are beautiful, but more importantly, the Lord is going to use you for great things. I will tell you how he has used you in my life, specifically. I remember earlier this year you posted a video and mentioned that you were reading your bible, and for some reason it hit me so hard, that I hadn’t spent time with the Lord in so long. I was going through huge depression and God used you to remind me to turn to him, and brought me back to him. So he used you in that way, and I will be forever grateful for you for sharing That little part of your life on video, that made a huge impact on me in the last year.That is above all things, the most meaningful part of life. Bringing souls to Christ.
I am praying for you. You are a treasure to the Lord, your life is so precious to so many people and to God above all things. Lots of love to you.
So glad to see this and what a fantastic campaign from Aerie with such a worthy cause.
I’m sorry you went through such a struggle. As someone who watches everything you post on your main channel and vlog channel, I could definitely see that you were really struggling and wasn’t surprised at all by your absence when it came about. You needed to do what you needed to do and I’m glad you’re doing better now. Hoping things continue to improve for you. ❤️
Thanks so much for sharing your struggles, I really admire your openness and hope that you are healing from the depression. I suffered a bit of postpartum depression and I just remembered not being able to control my emotions. Mental health is real and it’s hard.